Didn’t write yesterday but I want to make sure I tell you about it. So it appears that I’m constipated. I can’t poop. I guess I am a little bit but then nothing really comes out. I finally called the cancer people to tell them about it. I’m figuring that it’s the estrogen blocking pill that’s making this happen. And sure enough, that is one of the side effects of the pill. So they’ve given me a light laxative: the generic brand of Senokot-S.
Mike wanted to take me to this place in Charlottesville that has free ice cream. He was hoping that ice cream would make me poop all of a sudden. I just started crying because I thought “I don’t want ice cream because that will make me have done something bad and I haven’t done anything bad as far as eating food after all these days.” I didn’t want to do that again. Isn’t it funny though that the thought of eating something good like ice cream got me upset because I didn’t want to break my good eating habits? I thought that was pretty good that I’m at that stage. But I was shocked that breaking it would bring me to tears.
But as of now there still no poop…
Today, I have finally got this blog online the way I wanted. My plan is to write often. Use this to record my “eating” thoughts and to track my weight.
Today’s tough moment was Costco. The best thing about that store is the samples. Plus it’s Memorial Day weekend so you know the samples will be great! We went anyway! I was successful at avoiding the temptation only eating some cheese! Thank you, Jesus, for helping me avoid the temptations.
Today’s weight journey took me to the UVA Hope Center to do chemo. It was a long visit with the doctor but the good thing is that she did an examination and she doesn’t feel any lumps right now so that’s good. I asked for a new surgeon so that I don’t have to go back with the one who did my original operation. He is the only negative force I’ve really seen in this whole thing so that will be good. She put me on another one of those pills you know the ones that I must take for every day for five years. Of course,
She put me on another one of those pills… you know the ones that I must take for every day for five years. Of course, there are all sorts of bad side effects with this one too but maybe this will be the pill to work. Will just have to pray our way through it!
Summer has been so good so far, I just really don’t want this new pill to mess with my emotional state again and bring me all down. I’m feeling positive. I think I can safely officially say that I’ve lost 3 pounds. So only 112 more to go! But it will happen just must wait on the weight and pray. But the good thing is that I have not cheated at all on this diet the whole time so I’m doing good and only with the grace of God am I able to do that.
Had our picnic at work today. It was barbecue and beans and potato chips and pasta salad and cake so needless to say there wasn’t anything that I could eat there. We stopped at Walmart this morning and brought a salad for me so I had that to eat but you know you miss out on those bonds that you get with people eating now. Yes, I ate with them but here I was eating a salad and they were eating regular food and you know how you get in to the eating and talk about how great this is and that is. That can’t happen with me now and it hurts not having that common bond with others. That’s the missing part… that friendship you get when eating with others.
But oh well! I’ve got to do this. Remember Vickie… you’ve had those bonds… you had those moments… now you must pay for it. It’s OK because Joy will come in the waiting to see the weight move.
Finally gave all the food away from the store today. That’s gone and I didn’t eat any of it so I guess that’s a good thing.
Journey moment today is Little Debbie cakes and other foods items from my school store. I have to get rid of the food in there before summer because it will be old by August. I had 2 students go and empty the store out bringing the food to me in my room. Now I need to try to sell it or give it away. The “Oh I want to eat it moment happens” because that food will be on my desk until I can get rid of it. Oh me…
Losing 115 pounds means there’s always an adventure it, doesn’t it? So today was Mark and Cassidy’s wedding I am so happy for those two. I watched them grow up and grow more and more in love.
So, I went to the wedding with Mike (of course) and then it was wonderful but you must think about the food.
First was the appetizer. Mike was willing to go and look at the food and get me anything that wasn’t non-carb. He came back with a few hunks of cheese. Period. But he had some pretzels and nuts on his plate. But it was OK. People started coming around so I could distract myself with talking. And hey, the cheese was good.
Then came the main meal… there was macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes and bread…. moan moan moan… and chicken and brisket and green beans. Mike got me the chicken, the brisket, and green beans so my plate was mostly meat. I guess I did OK if it’s alright to eat green beans. We looked green beans up and there are some carbs in them. But I think I was fine.
What was next you ask? The cake. Well, I didn’t need the cake. Mike, the diabetic, didn’t need the cake, so I decided we should leave then.
So, the day was a success. Mark and Cassidy are now happily married and I did not pig out on carbs! God is good all the time!
“You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies.”
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NCV